Betty Streett, LSCW, NAADAC II, has 30+ years experience in clinical practice and reserach in the field of addiction.

Under the pseudonym Dorothy Marie England, she is author of three published books, 12 Steps to Loving Yourself, Satan Stalking, and Smoke and Mirrors, the Magical World of Chemical Dependency. She has most recently authored Murder at Rainbow Falls, a Christian suspense novel for middle schoolers, with a strong alcohol and drug prevention message. Additionally, she is author of three outstanding pamphlets Anxiety, If You Don't Love Me, It's Your Fault, and What Good is Evil? She has authored numerous articles for The Counselor magazine, and has been published in The Office of Substance Abuse Prevention Pipeline. Her video and audio tapes Why A Higher Power are available at this website. (VIDEOS —BOOKS)

Email Your Questions To:
12step@clarksdale.com

1. have a friend whose daughter was at Fairland and has helped her daughter tremendously. Now, for the reason I am writing. I have a 14 year old son. In January of this year his grades at school hit rock bottom. A call from the school ended up with the trip to the ER for precription medication he had gotten from a boy at school. Immediately, I put him at Parkwood. He seemed to have realized he was headed down the wrong path and wanted to make the necessary changes in his life. Parkwood evaluated him with depression and ADHD and put him on meds. He is not hyper, very withdrawn and down. Several months have passed and all looked well. I have given him at home random drug test and all have been fine. We went out of town this weekend with friends to a person's home we had never meet. My son slips into this man's liquor, Vodka, and gets drunk. I put him to bed, discretely behind this (74 year old) man's back making up an excuse. My boyfriend's 17 year old son was there also. I am not sure if he did. Later that night, my son gets into the cabinet and helps himself to another type of liquor. Again he is drunk. I know the 17 year old did not partake this time. It was later told to me one of his Zoloft pills was found in the bed he was in earlier that day. That is just a general background of this situation. He will not take to a therapist, saying he needs to talk to them when he is down and not a set appt. on this day at this time. This is what I have told him. I gave him a very stern talking to explaining this behavior is not exceptable. He has to start excepting responsibility for his actions. He is on a very tight rope and most priviledges are gone. The last thing I told him was I could not put up with this behavior and the next time, he would go to a facility that could help him. Meaning a long term facility. Am I on the right track? What else should I do? I appreciate any info you could send my way. Sincerely, P Card

2. My brother suffers from marijuana addiction and severe underlying depression. Every time he tries to quit smoking marijuana, he suffers from intense headaches, vomiting, and terrible mood swings (crying to rage). It is for these reasons that every attempt at quitting, it is so much easier to go right back to using - just so he can go to work. He has had difficulty holding down a job in the past. His financial difficulties play a major role in his current depression - along with some childhood emotional trauma. He has finally agreed to seek treatment and he recognizes that faith-based would be best for him. However, he has no money and refuses to go 'even more in debt' to seek treatment. I cannot find a free, faith-based facility ANYWHERE. My brother is so smart and could do anything he wanted with the rest of his life! Please help! -

3. Do you have any suggestions as to where I can find a NOR-A-NON meeting in my area? Thank You, Melissa

4. I am seeking information on how to deal with my ex husbands 4th relapse. I still love him very much and constantly worry about him. We have a 2-year-old daughter that he is incapable of caring for. I had thought that if she was with him, he would have more reason to stay clean. I just need some help understanding how to deal with this situation and how to communicate with him to his benefit. He also has anger problems and I seem to be a major factor in this. How can I get involved with his recovery without causing problems?

5. Dear Mrs. Betty, I am very grateful to say that I am a recovering addict working a 12 step program on a daily basis. It is by the grace of God and the program of Narcotics Anonymous that I have almost 4 months of clean time. I have been hooked on pain medicine for about the last 11 years of my life. I detoxed at home with the help of a doctor and numerous other friends in recovery. I went through all the flu-like symptoms, the major aches and pains and everything else that goes along with coming off pain killers/narcotics. The withdrawals lasted for about 2 weeks and then I started to feel better physically. I also started outpatient A&D counseling which I am currently still doiing. My question is this, for about the last week I have been experiencing a lot of the bad aches and pains that I remember having while coming off the drugs, but I have not used any drugs in 4 months. Is this normal? Should I have these pains from time to time? Thanks for your help, A Friend in Recovery

6. I have a 33-year-old husband who is a drug addict and has relapsed for the 2nd(maybe 3rd) time. This started in 1998 when he went to treatment for the first time. He had over one year clean time plus about 1 1/2 years using time until he ended up back in treatment. This time he stayed clean again over a year. This relapse he has used enough to quit his job and leave town (statin ghe was tired of hurting me and the children). Luckily, he ended back in treatment in the town where his mom lives - and without discussing this with me. HIs mom told me he arranged his inpatient treatment the day he got to her house, 3 days ago. Over the weekend we talked very little and he never told me about this decision nor did he use it as an atttempt to make things "better" between us. I have a pretty good understanding of addiciton (not so good on codependency) and participate ina support group for family members of addicts that I helped start in our community. I have a sponsor and attempt to work the 12 step program myself. My husband participates actively in NA when not using (our whole family does) and has gained awareness and insight and actually worked a strong, honest 12 step program of recovery until he stopped doing the "next right thing." My question: is there something wrong with another relapse? Should I give up on him at this point and consider divorcing him? I feel that doing this would go against all I believe and understand about addiction because he is NOT a bad person. However, society and my family (who are unwilling to understand addiction) expect me to get rid of him because he is "sorry and will never grow up and be responsible" and basically "wouldn't put up with this again." But one of the first lines of our NarAnon reads "Addiction is an illness, not a moral issue." I'm studk!! Thanks for the advice.

7. Dear Ms Betty, I am writing to you in desperation. I have a chronic drug user brother. In interveined with him and his wife, and finally got him to admit that he needs help. We made the phone call to the local mental health for help. They set us up an appointment for January 3rd. However, he was arrested on Christmas Day. I am hoping you can give me advice on what to do. Do we leave him in jail? Do we just wait for mental health services to see him on Jan. 3rd? Do I try to find him a place now? Please, any information or advice! Thank you, a sister who loves unconditionally

8. Betty, I read your latest article, and wonder if I'm a sex addict. I don't want to talk about why I think this may be true. Is there some easy way to tell if I am. Thanks, Jane Doe

9. When I've taken meth, I've liked that it makes me want to do things,i.e., clean the house, work in the yard, etc. I don't feel like doing anything when I'm not taking it. It seems as though it's all I can to get through my work day sometimes and on my days off, I can do absolutely nothing but lie around and watch t.v. I have no umph, no ambition, however, meth changes all that and I feel productive. I also like the fact that it helps me not eat so much.

10. Dear Mrs Betty, I am 18 years old and have been fighting a meth addiction for almost two years. I think there was no hope for me, not alot of people know I have a problem and the ones that do don't care. I am gong crazy trying to understand why I can't just stop! Why I Lie and hurt everyone who loves me.I want my life back! I just need someone to tell me how and where I can get the help I need. Thank you

11. Someone recently told me that "grumpiness' isn't allowed in recovery. Why is this?

12. Why do you and most treatment people push the 12 steps? Why can't people just learn to drink or use drugs responsibly or not at all without having to resort to some "Higher Power?"

13. My wife promises things and hardly ever follows through. I'm beginning to feel like she doesn't love me and our kids. She drinks too much and takes a nerve medicine. Should I believe she loves us? Thanks, Sammy

14. Dear Mrs. Betty, I have been having some severe alcohol problems that I was hoping you could possibly help me with. I have always liked to drink on occasions since I was 16(am now 25), but it was never like it is now. I honestly feel that I cannotlive without it. I am now at the point that I have to do something about it. My life seems to be spinninig out of control. My wife has tried to be supportive of my problem, but I know that if this continues, she will eventually leave. That scares mr more than anything. I really feel that if I don't get help soon the things I have left in my life that are good will be gone. As you can tell, I'm not in denial. I am fully aware that I have a problem. I just don't know exactly how to fix it. Thanks, M.

15. Is there any evidence that 12-step programs work better than other approaches?

16. Miss Betty, I'm nine years old. My mom promised she would quit smoking, and she didn't. She's done this a lot. What can I do to make her quit? I've told her all the bad things smoking does. Thanks, Robert

17. What are the symptoms of sex addiction?

18. What's the link between addiction and risk-taking/novelty-seeking? I recently read an article in Newsweek saying these two are often linked.

19. What are the signs of compulsive gambling?

20. My child hides food in his room and in his school bags, and he is overweight. Is this addiction? What should I do?

21. Why is it so hard to stop smoking?

22. You called addiction a "feeling disease." What do you mean by that?

23. My girlfriend usually wants to fight after she's had a few drinks. Why is this? What can I do about it?

24. I live in a college dorm, and my roommate often lies to me. Lots of times it doesn't even seem to me to make sense for him to lie because it's over something that doesn't really matter. He also, I think, is addicted to pot. Why does he lie so much, and what can I do about it? It's really annoying. Thanks in advance for your answer. Jimmy

25. Dear Betty, My name is Jim. I am writing you this e-mail to tell you from the bottom of my heart how thankful I am for the information that you have made available to people like me. It has been an answer to prayer. My wife, Suzanna, and I have a 17 year old son, Hunter, who is an addict. He has used and abused drugs for several years. He has spent time in jail, been expelled from 3 different high schools, been to several psychologists and is currently attending Disc Village residential facility in Tallahasee, FL. What makes all of this seem even more bizarre is that before all of this happened, my wife and I felt like we were both devout Christians. Our son was raised in the church. We attended every Sunday. We taught Sunday School. Even when these behaviors first started occurring, we prayed and felt that God would intercede on our behalf and heal our son. At one time, I thought he had been "saved" and there was a big "production" at church when he went down front to make it public. My 67 year old father said it was the "most spiritual" thing he had ever witnessed in church. Still, the behaviors continued and even worsened. Unfortunately, because of this, and God's seeming disregard for answering our prayers, Suzanna has practically abandoned any faith that she ever might have had. We have left the church that my son grew up in because of our embarassment, and because of the painful memories we have there. Our biggest problem was that we did not understand how all of this could happen in our family, to our son. Why wouldn't he stop? Why was he doing this to us? Why was he turning his back on his family? Why is he rejecting the faith that he was brought up in? Up until a week ago, we still were asking these same questions. And then I happened upon your website. Suzanna and I read the articles that you and the others had written. And for the first time our questions started having logical answers. The information that you give is mind boggling, because everything that you say in the articles hits dead on with our son. Suzanna even commented that her brain had a lot of the same problems as Hunter, she just isn't an addict. I think understanding what is happening chemically in his brain is helping her cope with all of this much better. She is still unwilling to " let go and let God" have this situation, but she doesn't seem to be as bitter and angry at God right now. Because of your articles, and the philosophy of your treatment centers, I am going to go get Hunter from Disc Village and bring him to the Fairfield Institute. I have already spoken to Mark Wright and there is a bed available for him. Betty, I know that you are busy and that it is the holiday season, but I was hoping that you could respond to us with some additional advice on understanding and dealing with this. And how we can be the parents that Hunter needs to help him be successful in his recovery. Thank you and God bless you,

26. Dear Betty, My husband has a drug abuse problem, primarily dealing with cocaine and methamphetamines. He is currently being held in jail on a possession charge. I have told him that the ony way I can see helping him get out of jail and staying with him is to enter a drug rehab program and successfully complete it. However, I told him I did not want him to even consider it unless he honestly wanted to quit. He says that he wants to quit and get his life together for himself, me and our child (I am pregnant now). He has also agreed to go straight into rehab following release from jail (there would be no going "home" first), and we are currently working with a lawyer to get into drug court and maybe make that the terms of his release. However, my question to you is does it sound like he has a chance? Also, does Fairland sound like a place that could benefit him? If not, do you know of any other treatment facilities in Mississippi that would be better suited to him? Thanks, A.

27. To whom it may concern, I wanted to ask you if you have heard of somatization and oppositional deficance disorder. My good friend has a son that is 14 years of age and he has these disorders.Could you please give me information or how to find out how to deal with these disorders spiritually. thank-you.